running

fears and insecurities

We all have them – fears and insecurities – and perhaps that is what drives many of us to shoot for more or attempt to complete a new endeavor. For me personally, my lack of confidence has historically weighed on me in such a way that it cripples my willingness to even try to push myself to new levels.

 

I realize that without altering that flaw in myself, I run the risk of never improving in the areas that matter most to me – my running, my physical fitness, my career. I pride myself in being a person that does seek improvement, so I can also see it as hypocritical of myself to put constraints and limitations on the heights I can reach simply due to fear or discomfort.

I am learning to become uncomfortable. I am learning to listen to my body and my soul rather than my negative self-talk or self-image. I cannot say that this is always something easy for me but it is something that I at least work on consistently.

My plan for combating my fear, as of right now, is to dive head-first into this 1/2 marathon training starting Wednesday. My last 1/2 was two years ago and resulted in serious injury and almost a full year off of running – the failure I felt, the embarrassment at my time and my injury due to not pushing myself properly throughout the full training cycle, is still very real for me.

Running doesn’t come easily for me, as it used to, and now that is something I must learn to try and navigate. To face head on, instead of dwelling in the past. Last Saturday was the first step – in completing my first race of the 2017 season I am setting the tone for my training, my nutrition, and my lifelong running goals.

 

Here is to smarter training, to healthier patterns, and to trying to believe in myself just a little bit more everyday.

 

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